


"Patience yields focus."

by zeejayblue



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anger, Grief/Mourning, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Lance is a sweetheart, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Post-Season/Series 02, Pre-Season/Series 03, Sad Keith (Voltron), Sadness, Shiro (Voltron) is Missing, angry keith, broganes, i wrote this before season 3, nervous breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 00:23:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11702919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeejayblue/pseuds/zeejayblue
Summary: Keith tries to bond with the black lion in Shiro's absence.





	"Patience yields focus."

    Keith’s bed sheets quietly rustled as he rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling with dead, dull eyes. His face was stoic and emotionless, but his stomach flipped over and his heart wrenched in his chest. He felt everything and nothing at the same time. Grief is quite the emotional rollercoaster.

    Keith lost Shiro, again. The two had a tight bond, like brothers. When Keith’s dad left when he was young, he met Shiro, who lived nearby. Keith was only 8 when his dad left, and Shiro was 15 at the time. Shiro stopped by quite often to look after him, and Shiro’s parents helped take care of him as well. The two became like brothers immediately.

    Keith was devastated when he lost Shiro after the Kerberos mission was deemed a failure. It felt like the life was ripped out of him. It hurt beyond comprehension to realize that his both his brother’s condition and his whereabouts were unknown to him.

    The Kerberos mission was a grave loss, and it was why Keith grew to be short tempered, and eventually, he flunked out of the Garrison because of it. Keith retreated to his small, desolate shack on the desert and devoted his days to finding his brother.

    Keith felt lost. Not only was Shiro his big brother, he was also his leader. He was  _ everyone’s _ leader. Keith didn’t know if Shiro was dead or alive, and he didn’t know where he was. It was like the Kerberos mission all over again. 

    Keith let a shaky sigh pass through his parted lips, and a shiver crawled down his spine as tears made their way down his cheeks. As soon as Keith sniffled, and avalanche of tears made their way down Keith’s face and onto his pillowcase, thoroughly drenching it.

    Keith has been acting out since Shiro’s disappearance. Mood swings, bouts of anger, anxiety, self-doubt, and of course, tears. Everyone has understood why Shiro’s loss is taking such a toll on Keith, but they don’t know how to help. Everyone else is grieving in their own ways as well, and the entire team seems to be lost.

     Keith didn’t understand why Shiro had to deem him the leader of Voltron in case something happened to him. Shiro uttered those words so often, Keith soon grew to resent them. 

    Keith sniffled again and sat up in bed, bed sheets rustling and breaking the agonizing silence that enveloped him. Keith slowly got out of bed, stretching before glancing to the time. The team got thrown off by being in space, and everyone’s sleep schedule flew out of the window, so Pidge made some clocks for everyone and set a random time to go off of, and everyone’s schedules reset from there. It was currently 3 in the morning.

    Keith grabbed his jacket and quietly opened his bedroom door, peeking around corners to make sure he didn’t wake anyone. After stepping out of his bedroom and quietly closing the door behind him, he made his way to the black lion’s hangar.

    All of the lion’s hangars were connected, but they had their own entrances. First was the black lion, then the red lion, then the green lion, then the blue lion, and lastly the yellow lion. Keith sighed heavily as he stepped into the black lion’s hangar, gulping as she sat tall and stoic in front of him.

    Red sent a welcoming and approving purr his way, and he shot a half-hearted smile back in her direction. She sent a signal of concern to him, and Keith sighed before turning to the black lion. Keith figured since Shiro deemed him the leader, he should at least try to bond with the black lion.

    Keith had been too scared to try to talk to her, fearing that she would immediately reject him. Her force field was shut, and her eyes opened. She seemed to eye him defensively, while also looking curious.

    “Look, I’m going to get this out of the way now,” Keith began with a croak, his voice gravelly from sleep. Red watched curiously from her spot. The black lion’s head moved to look down at Keith, with what felt like disapproval.

    “I know I’m not Shiro,” Keith sighed, sitting down and crossing his legs as he looked up at Black. Her face didn’t change.

    “I’m nothing like him,” Keith spat in anger. Red whined at seeing her paladin so upset, and Black seemed to glance in Red’s direction before shifting her gaze back to Keith.

    “He’s my big brother, blood related or not,” Keith continued quietly, feeling rage and sadness bubble in his body, manifesting warmly in his chest. Keith clenched his fists before continuing.

    “I am  _ nothing _ like my brother,” Keith echoed, looking to the black lion with tears forming in his eyes. Red whined again and Black seemed to look at Keith in sympathy.

    “Shiro is an amazing leader,” Keith sighed, smiling lightly. Black seemed to straighten her posture in pride at hearing her paladin being spoken about.

    “He’s patient, caring, and not to mention he can fight,” Keith added. Black nodded with a small smile.

    “I’m the worst leader,” Keith spoke, his voice wavering as tears launched down his cheeks without warning. Red whined loudly, trying to get to her paladin. Keith shot her a glance that told her to stay put, and she reluctantly did so.

    Lance, hearing the commotion down the hallway as he made his way to the kitchen for a glass of water, dropped by the black lion’s hangar to see what was going on. Spotting Keith, he absconded behind the doorway, sitting with his back to the wall so he remained unspotted.

    “I’m impatient, I don’t connect with people very well, and I make hasty decisions,” Keith spat, anger rising in his chest as he began to cry harder. Lance sighed heavily as he listened in on the conversation.

    “We have so much in common, Black,” Keith sobbed, looking to the lion. She seemed to widen her eyes at the mention of her name. Keith sobbed again and looked down before speaking again.

    “We both love Shiro, we both miss Shiro, and we-” Keith cut off his own sentence as sobs wracked his body. He couldn’t continue to speak. Keith collapsed onto the floor, sobbing as he kept being reminded about his brother.

    Lance felt tears slide down his cheeks at the sound of his boyfriend sobbing uncontrollably. He silently sniffled and sighed as he waited to hear more.

  “We both want to find him, safe and sound,” Keith’s voice was almost incoherent because emotions were constricting his throat. Red whined again, moving her paws anxiously. The black lion let her ears fall, and she looked at Keith with sadness in her face.

    “I know I’m not Shiro,” Keith repeated with a sob, his words echoing off of the walls. Lance choked back a sob as he continued to listen. He couldn't help but cry. Lance is an empathetic person; whenever someone else cries, he cries too. Especially when it was his boyfriend who was crying.

    “But, please,” Keith cajoled, sniffling and hiccuping as he scrambled to gain control of his breathing. The black lion let down her barrier when Keith was looking to the ground.

    “Let me at least try to be helpful to the team,” Keith cried out. Keith sobbed again, noticing the black lion has accepted him. He was glad she accepted him, but he still didn’t feel qualified to be her pilot. Keith still believed Shiro was the only one who could.

    Lance couldn’t hide anymore. He sighed as he stood up, smoothing out his shirt before peeking into the black lion’s hangar. The black lion but her barrier back up at the sight of Lance as he entered the room, and she watched Keith protectively. Red purred welcomingly as Lance stepped into the room, and Black slowly lowered her barrier with caution. 

    “Keith,” Lance called, his voice raw from lack of use and from crying. Keith scrambled to wipe the tears off of his face as he sat up.

    “Don’t do that,” Lance urged as he sat next to Keith.

    “Don’t do what?” Keith questioned, his voice cracking a little as he rubbed his eyes.

    “Act like you weren’t crying,” Lance pointed out. Keith sniffled and sighed as he looked up to the black lion, who was looking at him.

    “I heard almost everything, Keith,” Lance sighed. Keith sniffled and more tears fell.

    “We all miss Shiro,” Lance started. Keith chuckled bitterly.

    “Really, now?” Keith spat, turning to Lance, who watched Keith with confusion and sympathy.

    “How is that supposed to make me feel better?” Keith scoffed, standing up and beginning to pace the room. Lance sighed and stood up as well.

    “ _ ‘We all miss Shiro,’ _ ” Keith mumbled in a mocking tone through gritted teeth.

    “Nobody will miss him as much as I will,” Keith spat, tears streaming through his eyes squinted in anger and down his cheeks. Lance sighed and furrowed his brows, tilting his head to the side.

    “He’s my _ brother, _ ” Keith cried, emotions thick in his voice. Lance sighed again, slumping his shoulders in sorrow.

   “I lost my  _ brother, _ for the  _ second time, _ ” Keith sobbed, rubbing his face with shaking hands before he continued. 

    “I have no idea if he’s dead or alive,” Keith sobbed with a cynical smile. Lance sighed heavily and placed his hands in his pockets.

    “ _ Again _ , this is happening  _ again _ ,” Keith gasped, beginning to cry and hyperventilate. Lance took his hands out of his pockets and stepped closer to the red paladin.

    Keith’s lip quivered violently and he opened his mouth to have no words come out. He closed his mouth and swallowed as more tears made their way down his cheeks. Keith faced the black lion, his vision blurred by tears.

    “It’s okay,” Lance muttered as he placed a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder. Keith winced from Lance’s touch like he had been burned, and slapped Lance’s hand away as he whipped around to face him. Keith glared at Lance with hostile, incredulous eyes.

    “It’s _ not _ okay,  _ Lance _ ,” Keith spat his boyfriend’s name, as if it had left a horrible taste in his mouth. Lance looked hurt, but he tried to remember that Keith is mourning.

    “Shiro is _ gone! _ ” Keith shouted, his furious words echoing and bouncing off of the walls. Keith’s chest heaved quickly and he huffed out of his nose angrily like a bull. After a minute of silence, Keith’s anger faded to agony.

    “Shiro’s… gone,” Keith whispered, opening his fists and dropping them to his sides. His hands began to shake and he raised them again, and then seemed to hug himself.

    Lance sighed and pulled Keith into a hug before he could protest. Keith froze and almost fought the hug away, and then realized just how much he craved human contact. It wasn’t long before Keith melted into Lance’s embrace and broke down.

    “Shh, shh, I know,” Lance whispered comfortingly, rubbing circles on Keith’s back as he cried into his shoulder. Lance felt a wet spot form on his shirt where Keith had laid his head.

    “I know, hon, I know,” Lance mumbled, pressing Keith closer to his chest. Keith let his walls down, and sobbed into Lance’s shoulder.

    “I can’t do it,” Keith wailed helplessly, his voice muffled. Lance looked up to the black lion and attempted to blink the tears away.

    “Yes you can,” Lance replied, rubbing up and down on the red paladin’s back. Keith hiccuped and sobbed again as he hugged Lance harder, seeking his touch and his comfort.

    Keith pulled back from Lance’s hug, but Lance’s arms were still wrapped around the smaller boy’s torso. Lance felt a tear escape onto his cheek when he noticed how awful Keith looked. The bags under his eyes were as dark as his hair, he looked pale, and Lance also took note that Keith seemed to have lost weight.

    “What am I gonna do?” Keith whispered helplessly. Lance sighed heavily and gently kissed his forehead.

    “Your best,” Lance replied quietly with a small smile. Keith sighed and looked to his feet before replying.

    “What if that’s not enough?” Keith questioned, looking up to his boyfriend with wide eyes. Lance sighed and pulled Keith into a hug, kissing his cheek as he did so.

    “It will be, trust me,” Lance responded. Keith pulled Lance closer to him, leaning his head on Lance’s shoulder.

    “You’re much stronger than you know,” Lance pointed out.

    “You can lead this team, Keith. I believe in you, and so does everyone else,” Lance added. Keith sighed and pulled back so he could see Lance’s face once more. Lance pecked Keith’s forehead.

    “Shiro knew you could do it, why else would he ask you to lead in his absence?” Lance questioned rhetorically. Keith slumped his shoulders at the sound of his brother’s name, but he knew Lance was right.

    “The black lion knows you can do it, too,” Lance pointed out as he looked to the black lion, noticing her barrier was down and she was watching Keith protectively, but happily. Keith smiled softly at this and looked back to  Lance.

    “You can do this, it just takes patience,” Lance instructed, kissing the smaller boy’s forehead.

    “Patience yields focus, right?” Keith replied with a small chuckle, looking to the black lion as he turned around. Lance wrapped an arm around Keith’s shoulder and admired the black lion with him.

    “Right.”

**Author's Note:**

> wow.. this hurt me  
> i'm ready for season 3 to destroy me.  
> i'm currently waiting for its release  
> i have to be up early tomorrow for school pictures but fuck it i dont care  
> here have this angst  
> i've been trying to get out of my writing rut so... take this???


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